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Resisting sweets can be a daunting challenge. WINTER 2010
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BY CONNIE MEYER
PHOTO BY JOLEA BROWN
WINTER 2010
The term “sweet tooth” does not begin to describe my love affair with sugar. I have had something sweet on the side for as long as I can remember. I love sweets of any kind. In fact, I never met a sweet I didn’t like. My memories are laced with saccharine highlights. I can see soft ice cream, and I am immediately transported back to Brook Street where the Mr. Softee truck made regular stops in my neighborhood.
A Mr. Softee chocolate cone was my favorite order. As a young adult I will never forget when my best friend bought a Baskin Robbins banana split pie for my birthday. I also recall other “firsts” such as my first blizzard from Dairy Queen or my first taste of See’s chocolates. Anniversaries always provide sweet memories. My sweetheart of a husband has sent me flowers and jewelry, but one of the best gifts he ever sent was a Godiva basket of chocolate goodies.
When I get a box of chocolates I always eat my favorites first. Soon the ones I may not be crazy about start looking awfully good when they are all that’s left. Before I know it, I have eaten the entire box. And I’m not talking a little mamby pamby four or five piece box of candy. I have eaten an entire Russell Stover's box on Valentine’s Day in one sitting. Willie Wonka is a mere amateur in comparison. I am not trying to sugar coat the severity of my problem. I know I need a twelve step program for Sugarholics, but I cannot imagine the meetings. “Hello, my name is Connie, and I am a sugar addict.” I could try that, but I keep wondering about the refreshments. They probably serve those tasteless rice cakes that remind me of eating Styrofoam. Actually, I hate meetings of any kind, but I can occasionally be lured if I know they will serve dessert. There is no way a support group for sugar addicts will serve anything sweet, so unless they sweeten the refreshment pot, I’ll have to pass. Each time I even think about curbing my sugar obsession, there always seems to be a holiday just around the corner calling me like a siren song. Halloween is one of my favorites. All of my favorite candy bars in those yummy small sizes. I’m afraid they’re going to run out of candy since there are so many sugarholics like me, so I simply must buy my candy early.
I would not dream of disappointing those adorable little ghosts and goblins. I try to hide it from myself, but I can forget everything else in my life but never the location of that darn candy. By the time Halloween rolls around, I’ve bought my candy at least three times. I tell myself that I should eat more vegetables so I make sure to buy extra bags of candy corn in October. Of course Christmas is impossible for me. How can I possibly give up sweets when visions of sugar plums and Snickers are dancing in my head morning and night? And I would never dream of insulting friends and neighbors who drop by with homemade goodies. Not baking during the Christmas holidays would be like going to Disney World and ignoring Mickey. It is insulting, and I simply must taste test my favorite recipes before passing them out.
I think I’ve already mentioned how dangerous Valentine’s Day is for me, and from there Easter is just around the corner. Oh, how I love jellybeans and Reese’s chocolate peanut butter eggs. If I make it through any of these holidays without slipping into a sugar coma, I know I will be faced with the 75 percent off after the holidays candy sale. Candy at 75 percent off rolls both my bargain and sugar addictions into one. Don’t try to sweet talk me into giving up sugar because it is not going to happen. I know it is not healthy. I know there’s no fiber in sugar. I know I need to eat more vegetables and fruits. I know I need to learn to at least eat sugar in moderation. What I don’t know is how to do it. I know Lot’s wife in the Bible turned into a pillar of salt, so I suppose I am resigned to turning into a pillar of sugar. Until that time, I simply must have my cake and eat it, too.
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